Be Still; Guest Piece

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Last year, God revealed to me that He wanted me to enjoy His presence and get a new revelation of my identity in Christ. I embraced he Lord’s desire to delight in me for three weeks or so, and then as soon as I got a bit of energy back, I ran for it. (Imagine the road runner, that’s me.)
The more I ran, the more self-reliance and self-righteousness developed. Instead of depending on the Holy Spirit and looking to Him for refuelling on a daily basis, I would fuel myself with shot sized prayers. I was a mess.
God wanted me to be totally dependent on Him once again. He wanted to strengthen me and grow my appetite for His word and enjoy His presence.
Once I allowed myself to be still for the Lord again, He began to reveal the true state of my heart and spirit. My heart had become hard and my spirit was rigid. I had grown up believing and living out the belief that I had to be tough and defend myself emotionally. As a new Christian, this belief stifled my relationship with God and I struggled to identify with Him as my gentle, loving Father.
Psalm 51 tells us that God does not despise a broken and contrite spirit. A broken and vulnerable spirit gives God the opportunity to give us His power and demonstrate His unmerited grace and enduring, unfailing love. Pride and a hardened heart block our ability to seek God and develop an intimate relationship with Him. In our weakness, His perfection is magnified and we show His glory.
Acknowledging that we have a broken spirit is a sacrifice because it goes against our logic and ego. However, God knows that there is only so much we can hold on to. Psychologically, it’s unhealthy to hold onto hurts and disappointments, as these often lead to mental health illness in the long term. When I first gave my life to Jesus in 2011, I also went through a ten week counselling session. From the first counselling session, it was clear that I had developed toxic coping strategies from a young age and held onto many negative experiences. The Holy Spirit highlighted the importance of speaking to Him about the good, bad, and the ugly as well as allowing Him to refresh, restore and revive us in God’s word.
In Joel 2: 12-13 God asks us to return to Him "with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments’ and reassures us that ‘your God for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love."
Boy, did I weep, but I felt God smile down upon me as the Holy Spirit lead me to read the gospel of Luke and I came to where Jesus said "blessed are those who weep because joy comes in the morning".
The Holy Spirit uprooted the disappointments, fears and hurts that had taken root in my heart. I was upset, I was desperate for calm within me, and I understood the pangs of David. My soul fainted within me and all I could do was rest in my Refuge, my Fortress and rely on His righteousness and not my works. I had to embrace that God is gracious, merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love.
Sisters, God cares about the condition of our inner heart. He desires for you to have intimate communion with Him daily. He wants us to receive a fresh dose of love, grace, and mercy from Him. Yahweh cannot behave in a way that doesn’t fit in accordance with Himself. This is our Father whose love will outlast the sky. It is only when we are still before the Lord that He reveals His promises for us. He will comfort us, even whilst disciplining, pruning and growing us to be the women He called and predestined us to be. 
We must remember that we are created to be reliant upon God and not be deceived by the lies that tell us that we can make it on our own. The apostle Paul mentions in 2 Corinthians that God placed this thorn in his side so that he would remain reliant on his Heavenly Father, Jesus His Saviour and the Spirit of Truth.
God has created each and every one of us in an intrinsic way and only His voice can speak into the depths of our hearts and He can sustain us. Sister, know today that our Father does not resent any part of your character or personality, He made you specifically for this time in history and has no regrets about calling you His daughter.
Let’s pray together:
Heavenly Father, we thank You for the death and resurrection of Your Son Jesus Christ and we receive the unmerited gift of salvation. Lord we thank You for Your mercy and demonstrating Your love for us whilst we were yet sinners. Lord we declare that You are good and Your ways are higher than ours. We stand before You today and invite You into the depths of our hearts and we pray that You, Holy Spirit will come and uproot the hurts and disappointments that are blocking us from receiving Your promises for our lives. Lord we ask that You transplant our hearts that may have turned to stone, with a heart of flesh. Lord show us today and everyday what it means to be a daughter of Yours. We thank You for freely offering us access to a loving relationship You. May we delight in Your presence all the days of our life. In Jesus name. Amen.

Photo: Heather Hillhouse
Instagram: @houseonahill27

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About the Author:

Isha Victoria lives in London and loves tea, sushi and cake. You can find more of Isha's musings on thecatwalkoffaith.


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