Longing for Love Day 3; The Great Preparation

Friday, July 24, 2015

Please wait, I am preparing him for you.

Never have there been more beautiful words spoken to me by my heavenly Father. Once my heart was restored from being broken into a million and one different pieces, I was ready for my deepest desires to be fulfilled. Too many nights were spent with tear-stained cheeks as I fell asleep, but the Lord would always wrap me in His arms and whisper the truth that gave me incredible hope.

Being divorced at 23 was not in my plan. No way. Twenty-three was the year that we would start saving for a house, so by the time we were 26 we could afford a down payment for a sweet bungalow with a white picket fence. It would be perfect timing for the children we were going to pop out…you know, right on schedule. But no, those plans were tossed to the side and the enemy tried his hardest to convince me that they would be forgotten forever.

I remember a friend telling me that some people are called to be single. I am not sure if this piece of knowledge was supposed to reassure me or if they were prophesying, but there was no comfort in my soul being told that. My prayers went a little like this “Lord, I pray for my beloved's heart today. I hope he is happy and leaning on You for wisdom. If I, for some reason, am not meant to have a beloved, I trust that You and only You will fill that place in my life. But I really, really hope I get to meet him one day.” 

It never sat well with me that I may be called to be single because I knew in the deepest parts of my soul that he was out there.

There was a season of my life where I gave up looking at all the potential “beloved candidates" around me and decided to give every ounce of my attention solely to Jesus. Yes, we dated. It was amazing, and honestly one of the sweetest times of my life. No matter where I went, He was by my side. Just me and Him. I wasn’t worried about someone else’s heart, emotions, schedule or well being. All of the energy I would have used in a romantic relationship was devoted to Jesus, and man was our connection intense! Our adventures were amazing and our conversations were magical. He filled me up with all of the strength I needed as we faced our next big adventure: moving to Uganda for 6 months. Even through this time, when I would stop and pray for my beloved, God would confirm that He was still working on him. So I continued to wait.

When JP and I went on our first date, I knew. I didn’t want to let myself fully know but I mean, how can you not let yourself know something you just know? Yes, it was that confusing. I was leaving for Uganda in a few weeks and of course this human being came out of nowhere to fill my heart with tons of pitter patters and my stomach with butterflies. How dare he! Didn’t he know that I was dating Jesus? 

I found myself walking the red dirt roads in Uganda and feeling one hand filled with the Holy Spirit but the other felt quite empty. I started dreaming of the day that my beloved’s hand filled it and we could share in this experience together. Of course, my mind wandered to J.P. as we talked every day, and soon he would be visiting me in Africa…but then I stopped myself. I prayed the Lord would grant me peace on my desire of meeting my beloved and yet again He confirmed…”Please wait, I am preparing him for you.” So I just continued to pray for him as selflessly as I could.

My stay in Uganda was coming to an end and JP arrived just in the nick of time. Within the first night he asked “So, what’s the deal with us?” That was the first of many questions regarding our relationship during his stay. The conversations kept coming and the bond between us was growing stronger. I was filled with an all-knowing comfort that this was it. Here he is. Finally.

The thing was, JP is the kind of person that needed to fall hard and quick. His love language is quality time, so there was no way his eyes could have fully been open to the idea of a relationship with me while we were 8,000 miles apart. For me, I needed to fall slowly. God knew I needed to build a friendship above all else with my beloved, and how could I ever do that if we weren't even in the same city? We needed that distance for my heart to soften and for my guard to come down over time. By the time JP arrived in Uganda, my guard was down and my best friend was sitting across from me vulnerably asking that question “So, what’s the deal with us?”

I sit in awe of God’s timing. All of the pieces fell into place in such a beautiful, all-knowing way. His vision is an amazing orchestration of events. All of our lives have led up to this moment right now. Nothing is missing. Nothing is left out. Nothing is wasted. 

As I walked down those red dirt roads with one hand holding onto the Holy Spirit, I needed that time…just me and Him…because for the rest of my life, JP’s hand would fill the other.

My prayer for you is to know that God is taking care of you, even in the moments that your heart literally aches inside your chest for a significant other; that you allow yourself to adventure the world even if your beloved hasn’t entered your story yet. Say yes to those dates with Jesus, as this time with Him will be some of the sweetest memories you'll ever make. Open your bible and find the promise in Psalm 37:4: Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Please be patient, for God is preparing you for your beloved, and him for you.

{photo & words: @wanderingwithmary}

About the Author

Mary McLeod is a photographer and writer based out of Los Angeles, California. Her passions include wandering with her husband, enjoying the outdoors, getting lost in books, hosting friends in their home and breakfast for dinner. You can often find her at a local coffee shop sitting down with young women gushing all about her main squeeze, Jesus.


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