Daily Delight

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Growing up I had a hidden problem. Its name was fear. I say it was a hidden problem because I had no idea that I was a fearful person. I had no fears of animals, insects or any phobias whatsoever. I have always been pretty adventurous and outgoing, and I'm  usually up for anything. 

I've always been somewhat of a perfectionist, though. Of course, I always feel like I fall short. Before I encountered Christ, I really struggled with this fear. Whenever I had a moment of not fully believing in my abilities and thought I was not going to give my best, the heavy crashing wave of fear would strike and overcome me. I wouldn't proceed with the task or decision any longer. 

To be completely honest with you, I did not feel like this wave was fear at first. Instead, I thought it was a "helpful" voice telling me not to go on with the task or decision. After I encountered Christ, I was still dealing with this. For many years I had this hidden fear that was not a big deal to me. I wasn’t calling it by its name because I was still doing adventurous things, moving forward in life, and stepping out of my comfort zone. But there came a time where something as easy as walking out of my house to do something life changing transformed into something so tragic. 

On this specific day, I allowed fear to consume me to a point where I literally felt like I was dying. My breath was being taken from me and I was unable to breathe. I had encountered a panic attack. I got so into my own head that I allowed myself to stop the opportunity that was outside my door. On this day, God allowed me to realize that it didn't matter how outgoing I was; it didn't make me courageous, it didn't make me fearless. He opened my eyes for me to realize the voice or "feeling" that I was listening to all along was not a helpful voice but a destructive one. Whenever I tried to move forward in my life and take a big step towards something life changing, fear would strike and give its opinion. I had to take a step back and ask Jesus, "What is this reoccurring monster in my life that keeps making itself known in my life?" 

I have struggled so much in life with moving forward and I saw that I was holding myself back because of the fear I was installing in myself. The fear of being perfect and failing was something that I had to continuously ask God to remove from me. I will never be perfect, I accept that, and the attempt to strive for perfection is okay. What's even better is that it's okay to fail when you are striving for perfection, or when you’re just trying period. 

Ladies, the world is not going to end if we fail. Failure is just another stepping stone towards becoming a better you. What continuously helps me move past fear is Isaiah 41:10: 

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This verse alone helps me shut fear down before it even thinks of erupting. Knowing that God is with me and greater than anything coming my way is honestly all I need to shut fear down and move forward in life.

{photo: @elissagram}

About the Author

Carol Guzman, or Rosette, as she likes to be referred as, is a 25 year old Brooklyn resident with a passion for writing. Influenced at a young age, she mainly liked writing short story's and personal poems but she never found complete satisfaction after writing until she encountered Jesus Christ. Writing about Jesus, and the word of God increased her desire to seek God more and has kept her faith strong in troubling times. Her goal is to spread the Gospel and the love of Christ through every word that is written. Check Carol out at redeemedbyhisgrace7.blogspot.com and on her new blog pageinspireforchrist.wordpress.com


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