For the Fame of God's Name; Day 6

Saturday, November 28, 2015

What defines your worth?

When my body became exhausted of all the thing I was letting my worth become defined by, I kept hearing Matthew 11:28-30:

Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

I accepted Christ as a young girl, but it wasn’t until three years ago that I completely surrendered myself to God and decided to let Him define me, to put my value in Jesus alone and take up my cross and follow Him. Every failure and every mistake I ever made didn’t define me anymore, but whom Jesus says I am did. Before that, I had always told myself that I was not good enough. For so long I had always put my identity in being ”The princess performance”. 

You see, I always let my performance in school define me. If I didn’t get the highest grades in university, I would tell myself that I was worthless, and if I didn’t get the time to go the gym four times out of five in a week, I would tell myself I wasn’t good enough. I was so hard on myself, and in that season I started to let the attention of men define me. I spent ample amounts of time thinking how to get their attention, what clothes to wear, or how I could become more attractive to them. And when I didn’t get the attention, I would think that something was wrong with me. I would even start asking,myself why I wasn’t as beautiful as "those women in the magazines," trying to convince myself that if I would look like the Victoria Secrets models, then I would have some kind of value

I had completely pushed God away until I was so dried out that I couldn’t bear it anymore. Three of my weeks in December 2012 I became so exhausted to the point where I couldn’t even study, sit or stand. My body was demanding me to sleep the days away. Both, fear and exhaustion had entangled my heart and I was so afraid of failing a test, of not being good enough, of not be able to prove how good I am to people, to be accepted by people by showing them my ability. That’s why failing a test wasn’t an option. My body would literally shake all days of fear! In those moments I was still hearing, ”Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me (Matt, 11:28-30).

Honestly, I didn’t understand what God wanted from me. In that season I was sleeping a lot, and in my sleep I was feeling Jesus draw near to me. His love was so powerful that it was starting to heal me from the inside out. God wanted me to let go of all the things I was letting my worth be defined by. He wanted me to take His yoke, and let Jesus be my identity, let Jesus define my worth. Because striving to consume the world’s expectations would only swallow me in the end of the day.

In John 14:27, Jesus says, Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

After three long and heavy weeks, I decided to surrender myself to Christ. It felt so revealing! His yoke is so easy and His light is so attractive. Jesus set me free from all of my demands and gave me peace. All my fears were gone and I let God take control. Ladies, nothing has ever felt so right. And in the same moment I was feeling so loved, I was feeling complete in Christ. It didn’t matter if I failed a test because I finally walked in the truth that a test does not define me. In my moments of complete surrender, I realized that God loves me just the way I am. He even loves my imperfections (yeah, the ones that I was constantly trying to cover up so badly). He forgives me and makes my sin as white as snow through repentance (Isaiah 1:18). 

The most beautiful moment in all of this for me was when I realized that God had turned my mess into a message. Jesus meets you as the mess you are, and makes you see how beautiful you are, but you have to let it go and let God take the lead. 

I have fallen in love with Jesus more and more everyday.

God has His ways. In His timing, everything is beautiful- even in the way He is call/ on us, loves us, chases us, wants us, forgives us. A guy that does not see you as God sees you can never want you in the same way He wants you. A guy that does not value you as God values you can never love you in the same way He loves you, and neither can this world. Because they do not define your value.

When you let Jesus identify the entirety of who you are, you will surely have peace. You will also have joy in who you are in Him and you will have satisfaction in Him. Ladies, when you let Christ define your worth, He will set you free from all that you are enslaved to. His love is all you need. 

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.  -John 8:32

About the Author

Priscilla Ganda Mall, 24, living in Sweden in a small city called Orebro. This term she took her bachelor of art in Media and Communication at Orebro University. She is a girl that is deeply in love with her saviour Jesus Christ and seeks to find her joy in Him everyday; by surrendering herself to Christ she has acknowledging his power and love. Other hobby she has is running outside in the nature of Sweden and spending time with her friends and family.


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