Daily Delight

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

What do you want? 

Those four words are have constantly been asked in my direction lately and I honestly don't know how to answer them anymore. I used to. I used to be the girl who knew exactly what she wanted, when she wanted it, and maybe it took me a little while to actually get the nerve up to go after it, but I eventually did and nobody could stop me.

You would think that as I got older, the decisions became clearer, the choices more straightforward, the path brightly lit. I guess that's where we would be wrong. 

See, as we get older, the decisions are only more complicated, there are too many choices, and the path is not so lit. And still everyone keeps asking, "What do you want?"

Some days I shrug my shoulder, a smile on my face, because I'm not overly concerned with what I want at that moment. Other days I'm wide-eyed, taking in all the possibilities like a kid in a candy store. But lately, it's a question that clouds my face with uncertainty and frustration; it's an overwhelming question these days.


Because I make plans. I like to schedule things down, check them off my list, and have the feeling of satisfaction sweep over me when I know it is finished.

So when my life gets thrown up in the air, and my orderly life becomes a jumbled disaster, it gets more than a little frustrating. And the question, "What do you want?" doesn't get answered because I can no longer see what the end was supposed to be.

During this season, that question is being thrown around for a lot of people. High school seniors are faced with one of the biggest decisions of their lives, the country as a whole is facing the question of what we want with the looming election, and those are just two big things! If you pay close enough attention, we are faced every day with the question of what we want in little, day-to-day things. From the moment we wake up- "What do you want to wear?" "What do you want to eat?" "What do you want to do?"- to the moment we lay down to go to sleep that question follows us around. (For those of you who have insomnia, my heart goes out to you, because you face that question even more!)

Those four little words are never going to disappear. It's a question I'm going to have to face every day for the rest of my life.

And that terrifies me.

In this season of my life, where I'm being asked that dreaded question at every corner I was struggling to come up with an answer. I couldn't even give myself an answer when I locked myself away, took out my journal, and wrote the question in big letters across the page. But it was within that journaling that I got my answer.

It was an answer so crystal clear, so incredibly obvious to me that I couldn't believe I was putting myself through all that stress.

An adventure with Jesus.

The answer was in front of me the whole time, but I didn't think to verbalize it. I want an adventure with Jesus. I want to be completely thrown off my course, and walk His path. I want to know that the steps that I am taking will one day lead me into His embrace and hearing those words, "Well done my good and faithful servant". I want to wake up with excitement, not fear, of what the day will hold. I want to be able to go with the flow, when something comes up that I didn't have written down and not panic. I want people to see my life and ask me what I'm doing because then I could answer,

"I'm on an adventure with Jesus."

That's not to say that the who, what, when, where, why, and how factors are not important- because they are. Those are the aspects that I currently have no answer to. They are the decisions that in the upcoming weeks I have to make a choice about. They are the things that I pray about every night before I fall asleep, and they are on my brain, every moment of every day. Those are the things that still need solving, but the biggest aspect of that question I do know the answer to- living an adventure with Jesus.

Yes, I know that choosing that is not going to make my life easy. In fact, it may make the path before me even less known than it already is, but at this moment, I can stand firm in my choice because I know that He will take care of me. In fact, doing my morning devotion the other day, I read Matthew 6:25-34, where Jesus reminds us that we are more valuable than the birds of the air, and yet our Father makes sure that they have food and shelter. At the end of the passage He even tells us, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself," (ESV).

What do I want?

Well that's simple, I want an adventure with Jesus. And after that? That will worry about itself.

The key, I'm learning, is that once you decide that Jesus is the most important aspect of your life and you want to follow in the path He has for you, everything else He will take care of.

See, He stands there and asks us, "What do you want?"

I finally know what my answer is, how about you?

{photo: @karlienpickett}


                      About the Author

Janine Carattini>>Janine is a 21 year old with a heart full of desire to share Jesus through writing. She is in a big sister role biologically and to girls who have "adopted" her as their own. Janine dreams of being able to reach the lives of other young women outside of my community. You can find Janine on her blog at: https://gettinglostmystory.wordpress.com/


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