Radical Marriage: Holy Ever After // Day 2

Monday, April 4, 2016

It has almost been three years since we said, “I do” along the sandy ocean shore. It has been three years of complete surrender, flailing, learning, and love. In the midst of new babies, moving, and new jobs life got pretty hectic.

Before writing this I asked God what His true intentions are for marriage. I dug deep into His Word and prayed for His vision. I believe God’s intention for marriage is for the uniting of two people to reflect How He loves His people. Ephesians 5:25-33 explains that in marriage when the husband and wife come together as one, then marriage becomes a way for Christ to show His own love for His people. My interpretation is that marriage is to mirror the love and sacrifices made through God’s covenant for the church. Many times my husband and I have failed at this. Many times doors have been shut and cold shoulders (by me) have been given. But one day, as I was at the jeweler signing to have my wedding ring sent off to be cleaned, I pondered on the realization that marriage reminds me of diamonds. You see, they withstand so much pressure and heat, to be refined and made into beautiful things. The very same can be said about marriage.

My husband and I have been through the pressure and heat of society to thrive as a “young married” couple. We have been through the pressure of negative remarks telling us that we should have waited to have kids later and “enjoyed marriage more.” Then there’s the pressure of Pinterest, saying I could be the perfect wife by doing 101 things to show I love my husband. There is pressure everywhere, and it can really rob you if you let it. However, the only true way we can embrace God’s intentions for marriage is to surrender to the images of perfection in our heads and society by soaking in God’s grace

Not every day is going to be glamorous, but when we surrender and quiet the expectations in our minds, God is able to loudly speak Truth into our hearts. Communication flows so much more smoothly, and that paves the way for understanding and patience. When we truly learn to embrace all God intends for marriage to be, then just as the diamond we are refined and made new to shine His love. 

I want to reflect this beauty in our everyday moments; even in the disagreements I want us both to extend grace. John 3:30 says, “He (Jesus) must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.” It can be used in many ways, but for me it’s a reminder to die to myself daily for God to become greater in all aspects of my life…even in our marriage. Yes, as a couple we both must die to ourselves, as God refines and teaches us to selflessly love one another and to work together as one. There is no doubt that I am still learning and some days I have to die to myself multiple times. But if I could go back to the day I was a young bride, I’d tell myself to embrace all God intended and intends for our marriage to be, even when it’s hard. I’d tell myself that marriage means making a conscious decision to love each other every day, to never stop enjoying the little things, to laugh often and forgive quickly, and to always keep God first.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” -Colossians 3:12-17

{photo: @bekahkay}

About the Author

Jasmine is a twenty-something Tennessee native who loves to encourage and empower other women through her words and photography. She works occasionally in a Children's Emergency Department, and spends the majority of her time with her husband embracing the chaos and beauty of life with their three young children. Aside from encouraging others she loves the feeling of getting lost in a good book, exploring, and thriving on a whole lot of grace. You can find Jasmine on Instagram here.


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