Radical Marriage: Holy Ever After // Day 3

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Hi! My name is Nathan Mueting. Yes, I am a male. No, I did not hack into the Daughter of Delight blog. :)

I recently became the Executive Director of a new ministry called FaithShare. FaithShare is a mobile app built to help Christians be more disciplined within relationships.

While FaithShare focuses on discipline within discipleship, I wanted to focus this blog around romantic relationships. Emily (the founder of Daughter of Delight) and I came up with two simple questions. I then surveyed some of the Godliest men I know. Their answers are below.

My hope is not to lead you to any perfect answer or, “1 Key to Finding a Man”, but rather to stir your thoughts and help you gain some level of insight into the heart of men.

1. Those Who Are Not Married: What do you find most attractive/look for in a potential bride?

2. Those Who Are Married: What have you found to be the most important quality in a bride?

Those Who Are Not Married
What do you find most attractive/look for in a potential bride?

Age: 23
“Low maintenance is a big one for me. Doesn't need everything to be perfect and isn't too full of themselves.”

Age: 23
“The thing that I find most attractive in a woman or the thing that I look for most is simply a confidence that God alone is enough to satisfy them.

When a woman is confident enough that her relationship with the Lord is enough to satisfy her, not only is that attractive, but it is extremely evident.

I know that I will never be able to come close to filling that role for a woman, and I never want for a woman to depend more on me than she depends on God.”

Age: 24
“This is going to sound incredibly cliché and super Christianese but, throwing judgment to the wind, I think the most attractive women are those who have an authentic, personal relationship with God.

For me, it really circles around the idea of wholeness not being tied to a person but to a Creator. Having a significant other who lives and understands that our relationship is trumped by the one she has with her Father holds a great deal more gravitas than physical attraction and shared interests.”

Age: 25
“For me, it's the triple threat. I look for a woman that I can have fun with, who I am attracted to, and who most importantly, loves the Lord with all her heart.

I think we often misunderstand God when we think that God's ultimate goal for us is to be in a marriage relationship. His ultimate goal is for us to be in relationship with Him, and trust that He will give us good blessings.”

Age: 26
“What I continue to find most attractive about Rachel is the way she pursues her relationship with Christ and serving the church. She's involved in leading a youth group in Memphis and is also in a Bible study there. She is about to be discipled by a woman who she sought out. It's rare to find girls that want things like that, but mentorship and being involved in those circles has always been very important to me. It's so cool to know that she will be leading younger women all our lives. In short, it's attractive that she has the same desire for God that I do. We are definitely equally yoked.”

Those Who Are Married
What have you found to be the most important quality in a bride?

Age: 24
“It's really hard to distinguish just one quality that I have found to be most important in my bride. But if I had to choose one, I'd say trust. I know her heart and her intentions, and I am thankful that I can trust her in any situation. For me, just knowing that I can rely on her during hardships or getting tasks done, it's reassuring and gives me a sense of peace.”

Age: 40
“As I think of one quality that attracted me when we started dating 15 years ago and has attracted me in our nearly 13 year of marriage, I think of COMPASSION. Her compassion is evident in the way she loves me, our kids and others; I say it’s why she was drawn to the social work profession.”

Age: 50
“Can't say it is the most important, but in my top 5 is the ability to connect and show empathy.”

Age: 54
“A women who strengthens, supports and makes me better. An old man married 30 years.”

What can we learn from this?
1. All men are created different and attracting them is not about fitting into a “mold”.

2. Be the women God is calling you to be by pursuing your God given passions.

3. Godly, single men, seek women who are seeking God. Godly, married men, site the fruit of that, “God relationship” as what is most important within marriage.

Action Steps

1. Pray: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Phil 4:6

2. Get involved: from the answers above we can see that a fruit bearing relationships with God is essential for marriage. Is there somewhere specific that God is calling you to go deeper?

· Lead/join a small group at church?

· Mentor or seek out mentorship?

· Commit to prayer?

3. Need help with these disciplines?

· I use FaithShare everyday, for everything listed above. It helps me to act upon the promptings of God.

If you think FaithShare could be great tool to help you better seek your relationship with God then feel free to check it out. If you have any questions or would like to connect please feel free to reach out at Nathan@faithshare.com.

Have a blessed day and remember, we were loved yesterday, we are loved today, and we will be loved tomorrow.

{photo: @bethno13}

About the Author

Nathan is 24 years old, lives in Nashville, TN and serves as the executive director of FaithShare. Prior to FaithShare, Nathan helped start United Nashville, a 501c3 non-profit. Nathan also serves on the board of Operation Andrew Group through which he helped found The OAK Project, a business-mentoring program. He enjoys playing golf, writing songs, mentoring college students, and cooking awesome food! To read more you can visit, http://www.faithshare.com/blog/faithshare-executive-director.


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