Daily Delight

Friday, August 12, 2016

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. -Psalm 139:23

That’s pretty difficult for me to take in at time. Search me and know my heart? There’s a lot going on here, God. Test me? I don’t know if I’ll pass. Know my anxious thoughts? Get ready, because there are quite a few. It takes bravery and humility, both of which I struggle with regularly. It takes trust, which is hard to come by these days. It takes vulnerability, which might be my greatest fear.

Openness with God. I want it to say that I want it, but it’s not that easy all the time. It’s hard to let others in. To allow them to see our ugly or broken pieces. To give them our anxious thoughts.

But I’ve found there is freedom on the other side of that vulnerability cliff. It is terrifying to jump, but that’s the beauty in the trust. The weightlessness of giving ourselves up. The liberating feeling of passing off our anxious thoughts. How lovely it is to be known, to be fully seen and loved, even with all the parts of our heart we don’t want to share. I guess that’s the only test we have to pass, the one we create in our own mind. We shield our hearts and barricade our minds and put on a pretty face, but God already sees us. And he says we are beautiful, redeemed too. You can’t get to love or peace or redemption without the vulnerability. Allow yourself to be known, and know how precious you are. 

{photo: @byhannahrose}

About the Author

Sarah Dixon≫ ≫A native to Arkansas, Sarah is studying journalism at Harding University. She is a part-time barista, social media manager and copy editor. In her free time she enjoys dance, playing music and yoga. Sarah spent a semester in London and would love to return one day and hopefully use her gift of writing for the glory of God. You can read more of Sarah’s thoughts at gentlywhole.weebly.com


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